Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Survived the ATL

So I would have to say that in my large experience there is really only one step down in humiliation from being asked to buy two tickets (not that that has ever happened): asking for a belt extender. This is the first time that has happened. In all honesty that was the smallest, in terms of space, of an airplane I have ever been on. I know that I have been bigger than I am now and still fit.

I had sort of a Stewart Smally breakdown, first I thought about complaining to the fight attendant that there was no way a 185 lbs man needed a belt extender, then I thought I should eat a burger, then I went through my affirmations, and gosh darn it people really do like me.

I then decided to crank up the nano to some DropKick Murphy's, which we all know that Boston - Irish - folk - punk can only elevate your mood, and it was good. Right until the short a-hole in front of me deiced to lay all the way back. Of course its never the big folks who lay down, its the shorties that don't get it. While I am on the subject and you are one of those folks who thinks its OK to lay all they way back; when you are putting your seat back and it stops cause you are crushing the guys (gal's) legs behind you, don't lean back harder the seat will not go any further back and it really makes big guys listing to punk music more angry, and want to sneeze in your hair, ensuring gum comes with it! Oh and while I am on the subject don't keep pressing back on the seat through the ride it doesn't help either.

So after having my leg pinned between the seat in front of me and the wall of the plane, nearly avoiding deep vein thrombosis and being arrested for assault, I decided I earned the cheese burger and it was good.

I am still driving to 185...